That's What He Said?
by tsunderely
Summary: In a typical world conference meeting, America decides to use typical American humor: The 'that's what she said' joke. But the nations...don't exactly get it.


_**_**March 23rd, 2012: Yep, decided to change some parts of this fic yet again! That's all...**_**_

_**October 27th, 2011: Mein gott! This story had a shitload of mistakes and I just realized that. HOW COME NO ONE TOLD ME? Oh well, I won't go blaming the reviewers. I blame myself for writing this at, like, 12:00 pm! So...this is the revamped version, and I happen to correct all those errors.**_

_**ENJOY~ Man, I wrote this thing like a million years ago. AND I APOLOGIZE FOR ALL THE PEOPLE THAT HAD TO ENDURE MY LACK-OF-SLEEP CAUSED MISTAKES!**_

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><p>The World Conference, held in Florida, America on July 25th 2011, was going perfectly normal. Well, if you decide to call a bunch of nations screaming shit at each other as "normal". If somebody was completely new to the UN world, chances of them having a heart attack right on the spot when entering the room were pretty high. However, to the countries of the world, this was pretty typical. In fact, so typical that it occurred in every World Conference meeting.<p>

"_Angleterre,_ your eyebrows are so soft!"

"You bloody Frog, stop rubbing your face against mine!"

"Chalk originates in Korea! Right Aniki?"

"Aiyah! Everyone is so immature, aru. Can't we just – AAAH! KOREA, WHY ARE YOU GROPING MY BUTT, ARU?"

"Marry me, Brother! Let's become ONE!"

"G-G-GO AWAY! STOP!"

"Everyone, listen to the HERO!"

"Hungary, if you are getting this much of a nosebleed from watching England and France…That's my shirt you're wiping your nose on, dear."

"I'm so sorry, Austria but – OH MY GOD! JAPAN, ARE YOU CATCHING THIS ON CAMERA?"

"What do you mean I support tentacle porn? I do not – HAI, HUNGARY-CHAN! I GOT IT ALL!"

"Leit, I know this, like, jacket totally claches with my pants but it's SOO CUTE!"

"Th's pl'ce 's v'ry lo'd, r'ght W'fe?"

"Um…y-yes, it is, but I-I'm not your wife…"

"Why is Mama acting scared of Papa again?"

"AAAH! WHO LET THE SEALAND BRAT IN?"

"**EVERYBODY ****SHUT ****UP!"**

The multiple screams in the room were stopped by just one yell from a very angry German.

"Germany!" Everyone gasped as they all sat down and remained quiet.

"Every meeting it's the same thing: We get nowhere! Honestly, you all are acting like a bunch of kids. I'm surprised at how far you guys have gone with behavior like this! NOW SHUT UP AND LETS GET THROUGH WITH THIS WITHOUT ANY INTERRUPTIONS!"

Of course his lectures did more than just unnerve people. It actually made some of the nations feel guilty, even America [sometimes]. However, today wasn't one of those days for the American nation. He sat in amusement, staring at the blood vessel that was about to burst just above Germany's left eyebrow. Well, he was doing that until he heard the last sentence of the 'scary-like-Germany' lecture. _NOW __SHUT __UP __AND __LETS GET __THROUGH __WITH __THIS __WITHOUT __ANY __INTERRUPTIONS! _America smirked as he replayed that sentence in his head for the third time. Time _to __use __good __ol' __American __humor__…_

Breaking the awkward silence, America started to laugh. "HAHAHA! THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!" he exclaimed, pointing at Germany.

Unknown to America (as he laughed his head off), the other countries completely misinterpreted his joke, as they all sat there with wide eyes and whispered to each other in shock.

"Did he just call Germany a GIRL?"

"I know he's a super power and everything, but that was uncalled for, especially to Germany."

"I know! Plus Germany so totally doesn't even, like, look like a girl!"

"He would make one hell of an ugly girl."

"I don't know. I think he would look cute…"

As the different conversations were taken place all over the room, America was starting to wonder why nobody was laughing with him. He also wondered why Germany was sending him a very scary glare. Across the room, although nobody noticed, Canada slapped his forehead. _Typical __America __and __his __loud __mouth, h_e thought to himself. _Does __he r__eally __not __get __the __fact __that __the __other __nations __don't __understand?_

"Did you just call me a _woman?" _Germany demanded.

"What?" America blinked and soon all the nations were staring at him, demanding an answer. Something unfamiliar flushed through him: Nervousness.

"O-Of course not! It's a sexual joke!"

At the mention of the word 'sexual', France's head shot up from England's lap, and England, who had turned a very deep shade of red, made a dash to get as far away as possible from the "blasted molester".

"Remember your last sentence from that…um…lecture?" And with a deep breath, America imitated Germany's voice, "NOW SHUT UP AND LET'S GET THROUGH WITH THIS WITHOUT AN – "

"AMERICA! I get it!" A few nations were snickering behind them, but one look from Germany and they became silent.

"So think of it as the point of view of a woman who's sexually frustrated." America continued. "Her lover may not be giving what she wanted or something like that. In anger, she might scream, 'NOW SHUT UP AND LETS THROUGH WITH THIS WITHOUT ANY INTERRUPTIONS!' So that's why I said, 'That's what she said.'"

Realization hit the other nations. As it did, some of them started blushing. A few laughed. However others [such as Germany] started grumbling about how the unnecessary joke could make a simple demand seem inappropriate. So America decided to add, "It's a typical _North __American_ joke."

Canada saw right through America's plan of indirectly blaming others (really, he was used to it), but Cuba did not.

"WHAT?" The Cuban nation shrieked. "We have never heard of a stupid joke like that before!" And with that, he forced the Caribbean to stand up, saying stuff like, "We will not sit around and be included in this topic so nonchalantly." The grumbling of the Caribbean that Cuba was overreacting and Cuba's yells were loud enough to wake up both Greece and Italy from a deep nap.

"Aside from where the joke originated or not, why do you think it is so funny?" Russia asked.

America gaped at him. "'Cuz it_ is_ funny!"

"I do not think it is funny. I think it is…ah, how you Americans say it?…plain dumb."

"Thank you, Russia!"

"No need to thank me, Cuba. I am merely speaking the truth."

"Shut up, Commie! You wouldn't know funny if it hit you in the face! Your so-called 'In Soviet Russia' jokes aren't exactly the best – "

"ENOUGH! Could we end this blasted quarrel already? But America, I really would have to agree with Russia on this."

"Become one, da?"

"Really? You agree with Russia? I agree with America. OH! Is that where you were hiding, _cher_?"

"Frog, you agreed only with him because it was a sexual joke and for the fact of disagreeing with me – ACH! DON'T YOU DARE TOUCH ME THERE! GO AWAY!"

"Quick Japan, front row seats!"

"Ach! Austria, control your woman. She just went on the table!"

"Sorry about that, but you know how she is like, Switzerland."

"Hey Leit, that girl over there is wearing a really tacky shirt."

"Ahem! My name is Vietnam and I heard that!"

"Now, now Vietnam! Poland is like that. Don't go attacking him – AIYAH! Korea, stop it, aru!"

"I originated attacks!"

"Greece, you dumbass! If the Mediterranean sinks – "

"Then it is not my fault. It's all yours, Turkey."

"What are those two bastards going on about over there?"

"Apparently, something about the Mediterranean sinking. Speaking of sinking, if you ever sink, I'll be the first one to grab you, Romano~!"

"Sh-Shut up, tomato bastard!"

"America! How dare you make that comment about the joke being North American!"

"I'm not Amer - _Maple_!"

"Ve~ Germany! You said this World Conference is supposed to be fun! How come we're not having fun, Germany?"

"Hey, that's what…"

"ENOUGH!" Everyone exclaimed at once, glaring at the American. They then returned back to their quarrels, molestations, and/or video taping.

"Pfft. Some people just can't get a joke."

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><p><em><strong>October 27th, 2011: Thank you for the reviews, my lovely people! Even though this story was written during my haste, I REALLY love you guys for comparing it to Prussia's awesomeness. Seriously though, it's not. YOU ALL SHOULD BE IN PRUSSIA'S AWESOMENESS LEVEL FOR READING SOMETHING DONE AROUND THE TIME I SHOULD HAVE BEEN SLEEPING!<strong>_

_**March 23rd, 2012: ...Got nothing else to say, except to READ AND REVIEW! Also, let me know your opinion about the changes if you already read this fic without them. Plus, if you want to write them together, does 'world conference' have any capitals?~**_

**_Bye!_**


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